Our Own Love

In living with CPTSD,

we spend a lot of time in survival mode.

Our trauma lays all of the blame and responsibility

for what happened to us square on our shoulders.

It tells us that what happened to us

is our fault and that the bad things that happen

in our lives now are also our fault.

It tells us that if we can only fix ourselves,

others will love us and not abandon us,

and maybe, just maybe we can be happy.

When we begin to heal,

we start to understand what happened to us

was not our fault

and that believing that it was our fault

was an adaptation that kept us safe in a horrible situation.

We see that self-compassion is a major key

to our healing and that we truly don’t need

to change or fix anything about ourselves

to be worthy of love and happiness.

Our greatest task is to learn to love

the parts of ourselves

that have never been touched by love,

and once we do,

the healing balm of our own love

gradually transforms our lives and relationships,

opening the door to the love

and happiness we always longed for.