11 Ways To Build Resilience
“Resilience is a choice. It’s choosing to rise above your circumstances, no matter how difficult, and become the person you’re meant to be.” David Goggins
What is Resilience?
Life is always changing, and sometimes it brings unwanted change and strife into your life. Resilience helps you to face the unpredictability of life and thrive despite adversity. In the face of challenges, resilient people tend to remain reasonably grounded, cope with stress more adeptly, and are better at maintaining a positive attitude than those with less resilience.
How resilient you are is reflected in how well you navigate and bounce back from life’s difficulties. Resilience is about adaptability and a willingness to change and grow when circumstances call for flexibility. With resilience, you can face challenges, learn from the experience, adjust your path when necessary, and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and strength.
Resilient people see challenges as opportunities for growth.
“The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.”
Robert Jordan
Resilient people look for solutions, lean on their support systems, and stay hopeful even in moments of high stress.
Resilience shows up in the courage to keep going, dust yourself off, and try again after a setback or failure. With resilience, you reach out for the support of friends, loved ones, or a professional when you need help. Resilient people are determined and tenacious, continuing to pursue personal goals despite obstacles. A resilient mindset empowers you to handle the ups and downs of life with courage, grace, and strength.
What Qualities Do Resilient People Have?
The path to building more resilience is different for each person, but there are certain qualities that you can cultivate in your life that will greatly assist you. By understanding and cultivating the Seven C’s of resilience, created by Dr. Ken Ginsberg, you can build a solid inner foundation for facing challenging times.
11 Things You Can Do To Build More Resilience
Thankfully, resilience is a skill that can be developed and strengthened over time. Building resilience involves adopting certain strategies that strengthen your ability to deal with the difficulties that life brings your way.
Embrace Change - Change is a constant in life, and you cannot predict when it will come or how. Flexibility is an inherent part of resilience. When you can be more accepting of change, you are more adaptable, and therefore able to respond rather than react when faced with a crisis. When you are resilient you use change as an opportunity to grow and evolve and change direction when needed.
Prioritize Your Health - A healthy body, mind, and spirit can better cope with the ups and downs that life brings. You can strengthen your physical health by eating a healthy, nutrient-dense diet, drinking lots of water, getting enough rest and sleep, through regular exercise, and lowering stress levels through meditation and time in nature.
Nurture Supportive Relationships - It’s important to have supportive relationships in your life with others you know you can count on when times are tough. Connecting with a friend or loved one when you are struggling gives you a space to share your feelings, get much-needed support, and get feedback and help in finding creative problem-solving solutions.
Find a Sense of Purpose - Finding a sense of purpose can give you a sense of direction and motivation to forge ahead in your life in a determined way. Some examples of purpose are: cultivating your spirituality, getting involved in your community, doing volunteer work, making art or music, being part of a social movement, or participating in activities or causes that are meaningful to you.
Build Self-Confidence - Having confidence in your ability to navigate the challenges in life is an important part of resilience. Become aware of the voice of the inner critic in your head, and when you hear self-doubting thoughts, practice replacing them with positive, self-supporting ones. For example, “I can do this,” or “I have what it takes to make this work.” You can also consider all of the times in your life when you already successfully overcame difficulty and came out stronger - give yourself credit where credit is due.
Be Optimistic - You may or may not be a natural born optimist, but just like resilience, you can learn to be more optimistic. Maintaining a hopeful outlook is a crucial part of living a resilient life. Having a positive mindset does not mean ignoring the problem, instead, it means understanding that setbacks are temporary and that you have the skills and abilities to deal with the challenges in front of you.
Maintain Perspective - It’s important to maintain perspective when faced with challenges. At times, we may become so hyper-focused on what is happening that we lose perspective of the bigger picture, and become overwhelmed. Recognize that there is more going on than just the problem you are faced with currently. To do this, it helps to remind yourself that there are also positive things in your life. This perspective of “everything is not bad right now, there are good things too” can help you to feel resourced during hard times. Take a look around and perhaps even make a list of what the good things are so that you can stay balanced.
Learn Stress Management Practices - Having effective stress-management skills during challenging times is key. Explore stress-relieving activities like meditation, mindfulness practices, journaling, yoga, breathwork, walks in nature, nervous system regulation practices, and reading inspiring books.
Develop Problem-Solving Skills - It helps a lot to focus on possible solutions to your problems instead of hyper-fixating on the problem itself. When faced with a challenge, make a list of possible solutions to the problem. Experiment with various strategies that are logical steps to move away from the problem into a solution that serves your forward movement and growth. It helps to hone your problem-solving skills with small day-to-day challenges so that when big a challenge or crisis comes, you will already be adept at thinking in that way.
Take Focused Action - Sometimes we hope beyond hope that our problems will solve themselves or simply go away. Instead, start working on resolving the issue immediately. While there may not be any fast or simple solution, you can start to take steps that will help things to be less stressful for you.
As you go along, focus on the progress you have made so far and plan your next steps, instead of being discouraged by what still needs to be done.
Grieve the Loss - When change comes your way, you naturally lose something that you care about. It’s the death of one thing, the time of transition that follows, and the rebirth on the other side of your grieving process. Grieving is not something you only do when you lose someone you love, it is something that you do when life throws you curveballs, for example, when you don’t get a job, or the promotion you wanted, when you become ill, and when you are faced with challenging times in any way. Through grieving, you face the painful emotions and sensations that arise as a result of the loss you experienced, and that grieving process opens you up to new things that are coming your way.
Your Emotions and Resilience
Emotional resilience is the ability to manage and bounce back from the emotional challenges that life brings. To build emotional resilience, start by acknowledging, accepting, and trying to understand understand your emotions. Know that your emotions are ever-changing and that while you may feel bad at the moment, this too shall pass. Allow yourself to feel the emotion without going into a storyline about what it is and why you are feeling what you are feeling, as this keeps you stuck in the emotional state for much longer than if you simply allow it to pass through. In addition, be aware of any tendencies you have to make yourself wrong for what you are feeling, as self-judgment will also keep you stuck for longer than is necessary.
With emotional resilience, self-care is crucial, so make time for habits that help you to feel healthy, vibrant, and balanced. Cultivate a good, supportive, and positive support network of friends, family, and community who have your back during hard times.
Building emotional resilience is a continual process of learning and growth, so be patient and kind to yourself. If you need support on your journey of building resilience, coaching and somatic healing can help. Please reach out if I can support you on your journey.
